HOW TO BETTER COMMUNICATE WHEN YOU GET ANGRY
Knowing how to better communicate when you get angry is essential in preventing emotional blockages and possible destruction of relationships. Before we feel anger, we feel a primary emotion. The primary emotion may be fear, offense, disrespect, force, entrapment or pressure. When a primary emotion is felt that is when the secondary emotion of anger is experienced. Often times those that are the closest to us will be the ones that trigger a primary emotion. It is then that we have only seconds to choose the most appropriate communication response.
EFFECTIVE SOLUTIONS IN BETTER COMMUNICATION
1. TAKE A DEEP BREATH
When is the best time to manage your emotions in a heated situation? Before it becomes heated. When we experience the primary emotion of fear, offense, disrespect, force, entrapment, or pressure take several deep breathes before responding. The act of bringing more oxygen into your body has a calming effect and can be the remedy in the heat of the moment. This will also give you time to collect your thoughts and not respond with a temporary emotion that can be so destructive.
2. LISTEN TO WHAT IS BEING SAID
Pause before responding when you get angry. Get a clear understanding of what is being expressed to you. The other person may not have intended to anger you and responding to quickly can escalate the situation. Listening with the intent of gaining a better understanding can also shift your mindset.
3. ASSESS THE POTENTIAL HARM
After you have taken a deep breath and listened to what the other person is saying to you, assess the potential harm of a spontaneous response. While pausing before responding, think about the potential consequences in spewing harsh words at the other person. Emotional blockages occur when a pattern of angry words are being said over and over again. Consider the long -term damage.
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4. CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
If you feel that the aforementioned remedies won’t work, get away from the situation. In the best way possible, express to the other person that you need a few minutes. Changing your environment can be enough to shift your mindset so you can have a more appropriate response. While you are away from the other person consider step #3 and formulate what you will say that won’t make matters worse.
5. UNCOVER THE TRIGGERS
An effective way to uncover the triggers of why you experience the secondary emotion of anger is working with a personal life coach. Your trained professional will help you to realize the patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are triggering self-sabotaging behaviors. Your coach will help you to create an action plan to better communicate in all of your relationships.
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